Mary Ellen Fender (nee Tobin) passed away peacefully on March 28, 2023, surrounded by her family members after a 10-year battle with Alzheimer’s disease.
Mary was born in Tokyo, Japan while her father was stationed there post-WWII. She grew up on the south side of Chicago, and snuck away every summer to Paw Paw Lake, Michigan to be with her first love: Sailing. At age 27, Mary competed in the 1979 Olympic Trials, and was the only female sailor in the competition.
She graduated with the first class of women at St. Mary’s University of Minnesota and ventured on to her second love: Teaching. Mary poured her heart into her students and spent her own money taking them on monthly field trips and summer trips to Michigan.
During her teaching years she met and married Bob Fender. Soon after, she began her favorite role and truest love: Motherhood. Bob and Mary made a home in Naperville, IL and she cherished her 12 years caring full-time for their three children before returning to teaching.
Mary was a caring and generous friend, a golden retriever lover, a dedicated gardener, an adventure seeker, a hockey superfan, a sunset enthusiast, the captain of the boat, and someone who always stood up for what is right. She has left her mark and will be dearly missed by her loved ones.
She is survived by her husband Robert Fender, children Matthew (Colleen) Fender, Emily (Matthew) Elberts, and Allison (Joseph) Poehlmann; grandchildren, Ronan and Cormac Fender, Sophie and Archie Elberts, and Hugh Poehlmann; her loving sister, Alice (Tony) Tracy, and brothers Gregory, Daniel, and Robert Tobin.
She is preceded in death by her loving mother Alice Tobin (nee White), father Edward Tobin, and brothers Edward and Patrick (Patricia) Tobin.
Memorial Funeral Mass of Christian Burial was celebrated on April 4, 2023, at St. Elizabeth Seton Parish, Naperville, IL.
In lieu of flowers, please make a donation to the Alzheimer’s Association in memory of Mary Fender.
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